7 steps to take the stress out of homework

Homework is a chore for most children and can cause stress for both child and parents. It can be very difficult for many children and adults to cope with the large amounts of homework today's teenagers receive. Here are 7 tips to help you take the stress out of homework.

Homework is at best a chore for most children and, unless they are very committed, they find homework difficult, often because they are not motivated. Consider the following questions. When your child does homework to what degree is he or she comfortable, focused and relaxed or is doing homework a battle and a struggle every night?

Here is a seven step approach to curing the homework struggle:

Step 1. Stop discussing doing homework with your child.

Instead discuss how he or she is approaching homework. As part of this solution guide your child to step back and really explore the way they are approaching their studies.

Step 2. Find out what pressure you child is under with regard to homework. Ask him or her:

Are you worried what your friends will think if you do or don't do your homework? Do you find the homework difficult and believe that you are not clever enough? Do you enjoy struggling with your homework, or do you want to end this struggle?

Step 3. Discuss their answers openly.

Never dismiss their opinions or feelings — even if you strongly disagree with them. These feeling are theirs and are valid whatever you think. Dismissing them only reinforces them.

Step 4. Acknowledge that homework is not easy.

Show your child that resisting it makes it a bigger problem and creates an obstacle to enjoying the rest of their free time. When you change their negative attitude they will work more positively and creatively and with less pressure. Positively approaching homework gets it out of the way quicker and removes the stress.

Step 5. Make yourself available as a tutor:

Offer assistance on how to approach problems but don't give the answers. If you don't know something say so and work with them so you learn. Praise them for the level of work they are achieving. Don't be afraid to make yourself look foolish — it provides motivation for them to see the work is difficult, and when they have completed it they get a greater sense of achievement.

Step 6. "Reprogramming" should be done while your child is doing homework, but not when there is any time pressure.

They should be able to stop and start the studying many times to discuss any problems. Initially try it at the weekend but not when they are rushing to go out. Don't introduce it as a special time. Your child should just regard it as a normal homework session. You should, talk to them and focus on their resistance to homework. It may not work immediately. It is a process and eventually they will drop or reduce their resistance and find a more positive attitude towards their homework.

Step 7. Be aware that "getting work done" is not the main focus of your time using this approach.

There will be many purposeful stops and starts, as you both explore the best way to approach homework. Let your child express his or her feelings. Discuss and expose all their limiting beliefs and feelings and encourage them to find their own solution.

Children and homework is a difficult mix at the best of times but tackling the real cause of their resistance will lead them to a more positive approach and better grades.