Forget Global Warming

If you think too much about global warming then you could start to make yourself sick with worry. It, apparently, doesn't exist – at least, not in the form we know and have grown to love. The talk about global warming is becoming almost as scary as the actual event itself. But let me tell you why global warming does not exist:

1.The earth has warmed up an cooled down many times in its history. It is still here and it is still going strong despite man's existence and influence on it.

2.Polar bears have seen the ice cap melt before and they are also still here – OK, I admit, a few of them have lost their lives on the way and it is pretty uncomfortable being on top of a floating piece of ice that has melted off from the main flow – drowning is not nice but neither is being mauled by lions, but the wildebeest don't complain too much

3.The earth is moving away from the sun at a rate of knots. This is a natural phenomenon and one which will lead to global cooling rather than warming. It is the reason why Mars is cold and Pluto is very, very cold. The earth will cool, it will happen.

4.Carbon dioxide is not the cause of global warming – in fact it is the other way around. Global warming CAUSES the retention of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. It's not nice but there is nothing that we should blame ourselves for. 

So let us stop whipping ourselves and start driving those big 'ol cars and flying round the world with impunity. Global warming is natural and we can stop beating ourselves over it.